Sometimes Up To Something

Is there a word for when you want to tell someone something about a problem you have with them, but you also don't want to hurt their feelings, so you keep quiet about it but doing so makes you really frustrated? I'm talking about things like habits of theirs that annoy you. There's a very specific habit that a few of my family members have and some people at the youth club as well. It's a very disguisting habit, especially for someone like me who is obsessed with germs and wanting to keep my hands clean all the time. And that habit is... licking your fingers to pick up paper. Seriously. IT IS SO DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!! SO GROSS!!!!!!!!!! Why do people still do that even after the pandemic???????!!!!!!!! I don't want to touch anything my Dad has touched with my bare hands unless I can wash my hands right after!!!!!! I don't want to touch paper that I know other people have touched in case it still has traces of their spit on it!!!!! I wish I could tell them that ...

I can't really talk right now. I've got something building up in my throat, and I've been coughing and clearing it so much that it's become very sore. So it's better if I don't talk, which is hard to do at the youth club. I really hope this goes away before Monday... 

That cold set me back a bit. But it's basically gone now. Let's just hope I don't get another one for a long time (by which I mean several months). Colds are not fun, especially in warm weather. Anyway, today the youth club went out to another park. We saw some interesting things there. No "find the numbers and letters" game this time. Just a nice walk with some pictures.  

Today we had one of our Youth Club trips. We went out to a park that I've been to a few times before, but today I basically explored all of it, because we were given these maps and we had to find numbers throughout the park and there would be a letter next to those numbers. So if there's anything I've learned, it's that I'm really not good at reading maps. I had trouble trying to tell which direction we were going in, we kept on going past where some of these letters were a few times, and in the end most people gave up because they wanted to go to the play area, so there were only a few of us who were determined to finish it, and we resorted to using a map app to figure out where we were and which direction to go (mine wouldn't work because the accuracy was low and I would have had to install some other app to bring it up, we ended up relying on someone else's phone). But we managed to find all the letters. I was so sure at the beginning that these letters w...

It's that time of year again. The time of year where in the city centre, there's a market with many local creators selling things. Lots of different types of things, made locally. So I just had to go there today. I could have gone tomorrow after the youth club, or on Sunday, but I wanted to go today. So I went, and I looked around, and I got some stickers, and something to eat for lunch. It's a nice thing to do, really. And I prefer to go by myself, although there is one person who I wouldn't mind coming with me, especially since one of the stalls is cat-themed and as it turns out, sells hair clips just like one of the ones this friend got me for Christmas. She must have gotten it online or something. 

The problem with disappointment is that even if you prepare yourself for it, it doesn't make it hurt any less. My Dad postponed the date he was to be going away, because my Stepmother is coming over here for 2 weeks for work-related things, and she didn't like the idea of him being all by himself for that long. To tell the truth, neither did I. But the thing is, I was looking forward to April because I had April all to myself last year, and I loved it! So I was looking forward to having that again. Especially the first weekend, where it would be Easter and I wouldn't have the youth club and I was planning on doing a big clean of the house. But now that's all been taken away from me. I'll only get May to myself now, and then another month or so of not being alone, and then I should hopefully be alone again but I'll have to brave spider season by myself. So what do I do? My plans for April will now have to change. I'll have to play my games that I was planning...

I really don't like crowds, especially after the pandemic. I often feel the need to cover my face if there's too many people around me because I feel like it's unhygienic to breathe in other people's breaths from being too close to many of them at once. I'll even wear a mask if I've remembered to bring one. But it's especially worse on public transport. If there's too many people already, you have to stand, and if not, you have to sit next to a stranger, or worse, have a stranger sit next to you, trapping you in your seat, and then if you have to get off before they do, you have to somehow let them know because they now have the burden of having to set you free. I always say "Sorry!" when someone has to do that for me. I've come up with this verbal stim that's also venting a bit, where whenever I'm on public transport that's too crowded, I feel the need to say that it's "PACKED!!!" Especially emphasising the P. Tod...

I think I've got a bit of an acid problem today, but for some reason it's making me feel the need to eat more. Doesn't it usually do the opposite? At least tomorrow I'll get to see some people from the youth club again, the people that run it also do a social group during the week and I go on Thursdays, some of the people there are volunteers at the youth club but others aren't so I don't see them on Saturdays. It's been so cold lately, you'd think with the days gradually getting longer that it would start to get warmer again. 

Saturday is usually when I volunteer at a youth club for people with disabilities like mine, but it's not open again until the 10th. Normally I'd be glad to have a whole Saturday to myself (I mean, I could at any time, but I'd rather not miss any), but I want to go back and see people again already. Well, at least I've got work training on Monday, but I have to get up really early and leave the house really early for it. I have to get 2 buses there, and the morning rush hour makes the second bus a bit unreliable. I'm usually fine with waking up really early, but I recently had a bad cold, and it's been taking me longer to wake up recently because of it. Needing the extra rest to fully recover, I guess. So I'm going to see if an early night can help my wake up time go back to what it was before.