Sometimes Up To Something

Today was a nice day, and it was made a bit nicer by the fluff, apparently from dandelions, floating around the place. It made it feel a bit magical, really. It's like the opposite of Autumn where the wind blows leaves around that sometimes flat through the air if you're in an area with enough trees. But when it comes to work training, this fluff is a pain to clean up. It somehow gets into the rooms, and you try to sweep it, but because it's so light, it just floats above the ground.

I really want to get back to swimming soon (probably on Friday unless my Gran invites me to lunch or something), so today I went out and looked through some chairty shops (well, the ones that were open on Sunday anyway). And I actually managed to find 2 suits that were black, weren't made with a larger chest in mind, and didn't have a hole in the back that went all the way down to the backside. I've got so many other things to do, though. I need to keep playing through these games so I have enough time to get to the ones I will enjoy more when there's no one else in the house, I need to do a drawing ready for Tuesday because I don't have enough time during my breaks at work training anymore, and there's still quiz shows to watch tomorrow night. Oh, if only I didn't need to sleep.

So I have the rest of the week off. But I still want to make sure I get my usual exercise. So I went out today and ended up walking up a really steep slope, probably steeper than the one I go up on the way to work training when I have enough time, and it was challenging, but that's what I was after. Walking uphill so much has made me somewhat used to it. It still wears me out a bit, but not as much, and doesn't hurt my legs as much. So I needed something harder. I really need to get back into swimming, but I'm having trouble finding a good suit that doesn't cost too much. Most of the ones I find have too much of the back exposed, and with a body like mine, how can I be sure I won't accidentally show off part of my backside?  

So I ended up passing that cold on to my Dad. And he's not taking it well. Not to hurt his feelings or anything, but I am younger and healthier than he is, so if it affected me badly then it's affecting him even worse. I've gotten as much from the shop for him as I can, and I also suggested he have some lemon and ginger tea with honey to see if that helps (I was drinking it quite a lot earlier this week). I really hope he's better enough to want to go out on Monday. We're having mettings with people at work training and we're meant to bring our parents, and I'd really like my Dad to meet the person my meeting is with because they have something in common and are sort of within the same age range (there is a difference of several years, though).

Am I actually getting fitter? I could do some uphill walking without much trouble, probably because it wasn't as steep as that hill I've been going up if I have time before work training, and I also wasn't wearing a backpack with a heavy pair of shoes in them. But it seems that this weight loss I'm going through might have an unwanted side effect. Which is that hair problem I mentioned the other week. Turns out your hair can get thinner and is lost more easily if you lose a lot of weight, and it takes time for your body to adjust and for your hair growth to get back to normal. Which I guess I could manage... if I didn't have a big important event to be at in about 2 months. That's not enough time! I'll just have to hope my hair looks decent enough by then. 

Is it time to get the sun cream out already? The sunscreen? The sun scream (which I almost typed instead of "sun cream" just now, so I felt like saying it anyway)? Apparently some people at work training who were mostly outside managed to get burned today. I don't really like to wear it. It's so sticky and makes me more likely to have acne (although I haven't had as much acne lately thanks to my diet changes), and when I put it on my neck, sometimes I can taste it. But it's either that or risk getting skin cancer. Ever since I discovered a large freckle on the side of my breast, and an even bigger one on my back, I've been worried from what I read online about the possibility of them turning into a deadly cancer that has to be caught early. It's really bad for my health anxiety. 

The people in charge of work training want to shorten our breaks to make it more like the breaks you'd get at an actual job. This is after I'd settled into a routine. And now it's all messed up. They said they'd ease us into it, but apparently their idea of doing so is only taking a few days rather than, say, 2 weeks, which is hardly good for a load of neurodivergent people, and also we're not even there for all of those few days either (especially since I eneded up taking the day off yesterday). If they wanted it to be more like an actual job, why did they have the breaks so long in the first place? They're cutting down a whole 15 minutes from them now. That's hardly enough time for me to eat my lunch, have a hot drink, look around the shop, and also go into the cafe entrance to use the wifi because the phone signal is so awful there. I'm not good at managing my time, having to compact everything into such a short space! I'm sure I'll get used t...

I ended up telling the truth to my Dad about that Universal Credit thing. The plan was for me to leave work training early and meet Mum in town and we'd go to the library for the phone appointment, then I'd hang around in town after and eventually go home. But then yesterday my Mum said she had to stay at home because she had deliveries coming. I got stressed out when she didn't answer my texts and when I tried to call her, and my Dad heard. Then he heard most of what I said on the phone when she did answer. I told him I didn't want to tell him until after Tuesday because I didn't want him to worry, but he said he might be able to help with it. I should have known I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret that easily. I feel like I upset him if he heard me say I didn't like the idea of him asking all these different questions. It often does feel too much for me, though, like I'm being bombarded with them. Sometimes I need a break. Anyway, we all agreed it w...

Well, today is officially the start of Spring. Which means this weather has a good reason to be here. But my body is still adjusting to the changes. My sinuses are getting blocked easily and it's giving me headaches, and my health anxiety over recent events isn't helping. I'm thinking of trying to find some more usic to listen to, specifically from the 2000's. The other week, someone at work training put on a radio station that plays 2000's music and it really took me back. Some of these songs are much better than I remember. Maybe I shouldn't always dislike things my Mum dislikes. There's some stuff she does like from there as well.

I haven't been swimming since last month, so I really wanted to go today. It was good, but I think I need a new suit. Recently I've been doing loads of walking, mainly because I end up being early on my way to work training because I get the early bus in case the bus at a more suitable time ends up being delayed. And I've also made changes to my diet to see if it would help the problems with my... female side. So I've lost some weight, or at least enough for there to be a noticeable difference in my clothes. Which means the suit I wear for swimming is quite loose on me now. It's not just the weight loss - I've had it for years and it's probably ended up getting stretched out over time. But it feels like a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. And it doesn't help that the cheat area is desined for someone with larger breasts than mine. Seriously, I have barely anything there. So I think I'll need to get a new one soon. But where do I get one from? 

It's like the weather suddenly remembered that it's nearly March. Although the clouds are still able to creep up on you. Which means still not much chance of clear skies at night. I've been trying to think of ways to make my lunches for work training more interesting. I think I might need a new lunchbox, one that doesn't have those compartments in so it's easier to wash, and then I want to see if I can get some dividers to keep my different foods separate, and if they're microwave safe then I can bring things to heat up as well! But the lunchbos I have right now has stickers on it and I'm worried that there's some I won't be able to take off without ripping them. Recently I've tried to eat some more healthier things, but I'm not sure if it being mostly fruit really is healthier even if they only contain natural sugars. There's this new craze with fibre, but I don't know if it's really making that much of a difference to my body (a...

I thought I'd try and get home from work training faster today (especially since one of the buses came really late) by getting off the first bus and going to the nearby tram stop. Did it make a difference? Well, it actually took around the same amount of time. The only real difference is that I had more space, and it had more movement that wasn't interrupted by traffic jams and stuff. Maybe I'll try it again tomorrow while remembering which bus it was that I caught so I can see if it arrives before or after the tram does.  

I was fine this morning, but during my work training, the cold seemed to come back. I think because I didn't sleep well last night, and something happened which made me very anxious (Why now?). I've taken some more medicine, I just hope I can sleep it off again. I have social activities to do tomorrow. I guess I can have a rest on Friday.

  I went to bed a bit earlier than usual last night, after taking a medication that my Stepmother gave me last time I had a cold. It made me tired enough to fall asleep and stay that way for at least 8 hours, and wake up feeling well enough to get up and do things even with that uncomfortable feeling still in my throat and moving over to my nose. So I still went to work training because I was doing garden stuff today, I got some tissue and some sweets containing menthol on the way, and also took some Paracetamol and a decongestant tablet. And somehow managed to get through the day. It feels like this cold is almost gone now. Maybe that "Immune Support" tea I've been drinking really has helped, though I would have preferred not to have symptoms in the first place.

Work training today was alright, even if I was tired because I'm not used to getting up and going out early on Fridays. I spoke to someone I didn't get to speak to that much, and we have a common interest (namely, she'd been to the Strictly tour the same night I had). The only reason I don't usually do Monday, Wednesday, Friday is because Friday seems to be the only day my Gran is available for lunch, so I need to leave it free. Even though she's retired now, she still seems busy. I did think about maybe seeing about doing Monday, Tuesday, Friday, but then I remembered one of the restaurants we like to go to is closed on Wednesdays during the day. Maybe Monday? I don't know what she does on Mondays. I might need to talk to her about availability next time I see her. 

I really am getting tired of all the clouds and rain now. I want the clear skies back!!! Anyway, last night I got worried because there was a bit of a miscommunication when I tried telling my Mum which buses to get, turns out the nearest bus stop to where she lives isn't in use because the road is closed, so she had to walk all the way to the bus stop near where the shop where she used to work. I told her 2 different bus times, but the way I worded it was saying that one was "at the same time" as the bus that she could have caught from her usual stop if it was in use. So she got the later bus. I was already worried enough, but then got even more worried when I sent another text asking where she was and she said she'd only just gotten on the bus. The bus that was supposed to come 9 minutes ago. And it was so late that according to the bus network app, there was another bus coming right after it. I panicked a lot, and someone noticed and asked what was wrong. So I told ...

Today was a good example of why I need to go to a place to train for work instead of trying to get a job right away. They had a delivery of new tables, meaning some of the old tables were moved into our room where we have breaks, meaning it had more tables, and also the room that was getting the new tables was off limits for a bit and I got upset because I was in the middle of a task someone had given me thinking it would be fine to still do. At least it's over with now though. 

I thought I was fine. I thought I wasn't so stressed that it was delaying a certain thing that hasn't happened yet that should have by now. Until I remembered something that causes me a lot of frustration: Bus delays. Whenever the bus is late or gets stuck in traffic, I just get so stressed about it that I have to verbally complain to let it out, I really need to vent! Every time someone wants to get on or off the bus, I get really annoyed because stopping to do that uses up even more time, and it's even worse when there's so many people on the bus and I have to hide at the back and hope no one comes near me because I REALLY don't like sitting next to strangers, especially if one comes and traps me by sitting next to me and then I have to get off before them which means they have to let me out when I'd rather not have to interact with them AT ALL!!! The thing is, while I can lessen that on my way to work training by leaving early (although that doesn't alway...

  "Where's the pheasant? Where is he?" is what I sometimes say to myself when I'm just around the corner from the place where I go for work training, because I have seen a male pheasant around there once or twice. Well, today I got off the bus at a different place to walk the rest of the way in a nicer area than right by a busy road (like I have been doing the past few times), and since the bus was early, I thought I'd explore that area a bit more. I ws just looking at the map on my phone to see if it would be worth going down one of the other paths at some point or if I'd be better off sticking to where I know, when suddenly, a pheasant flew past! So that meant I just had to go near where he landed to try and get some pictures of him. I don't know if it was the same one from near where I go for work training, it very well could have been if pheasants do get around places (I've seen a few in another area occasionally before, near where one of the peopl...

I've kept forgetting my umbrella most of the time, or not being bothered enough to go and get it before I leave. But this time, after I heard about the weather today, I took it with me to help to protect against the wind. But the wind won. My umbrella got turned inside out a few times, and then broken. The top of it came off the pole, and it didn't look like there was a way to re-attach it. So for the rest of my little walk down to where I go for work training, I was cold and wet, my hands were freezing, and I was holing a broken umbrella that I couldn't use to protect me from the wind anymore. And even worse, I got splashed by a bus because I didn't see there was a puddle where it was driving until it was too late. Then when I got there, I found out this weather was because of another one of those named storms. Apparently called Storm Chandra. I was like "Now you tell me, I didn't hear anything about it being a storm!" I thought it was just bad weather. I...